Chapters in the Life of a Pregnant Millennial – Part 1

As a millennial, it can be annoying to be bombarded with updates from pregnant friends on social media. There’s a lot of eye-rolling to do at every picture with a bow around a belly, and at every craving,#blessed, and countdown status. I’m hoping to take a more honest approach today.

There’s really no point in telling you what to expect based on what I’ve experienced. The only thing I know to be true is that everyone’s pregnancy is totally unique. However, mine’s been pretty textbook, but at the very least you can commiserate with me on all the gross, joyful, humorous things that it takes to grow a human. Here is how I would chronicle the chapters of my pregnancy thus far:

Chapter 1 – Ask and I’ll Tell/Is it safe?

In the genesis of your pregnancy, it’s normal to be cautious about revealing the news in-case of a miscarriage. It protects you from having to untell everyone the good news, which can be painful.

For me, whenever someone asked if I was pregnant, I was happy to share my exciting news with them, I just wasn’t making any public proclamations until that 12-week mark. So really, the news went to family and people who are around me enough to notice I’ve become a frequent designated driver. I also wasn’t hesitant to tell people around me because in-case I miscarried, these are people I would have leaned on for support.

The other reason it’s hard to contain the news at this point is learning about all of the things that are all of a sudden dangerous for you and lil baby. Caffeine, lunch meat, sushi, any meat not cooked to well-done, unpasteurized cheese, alcohol (duh), second hand smoke, certain kinds of exercise – I avoided all of these things like the plague, and obsessed and googled about any meal that was placed in front of me, explaining to my fellow diners, “I don’t think I can eat that, I’m pregnant.”

I told my yoga teachers about my pregnancy right away too. Reading about avoiding deep twists and exercises where you have to lie on your back was enough to make me worry about hurting the little rice-sized baby inside of me. I would be fine, they said, just begin avoiding those things in the 2nd trimester and as always “LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.” Oh, but I definitely didn’t have the energy to make it through hot yoga anymore.

Perhaps I was a little too obsessive in the beginning.

Chapter 2 – Ew, why are you torturing me with your Instagram?

After awhile, I didn’t worry about the dangerous foods. That’s because everything suddenly became disgusting to even look at (especially raw chicken, ugh, so gross). Naps were now more frequent from lack of food and I had to make my husband cook most of his meals (poor thing), to avoid the awful awful smell of cooking.

(Oh! Someone needs to remind me to tell my son that he’s lucky his father is still around because I just remembered the time I restrained myself from killing him when he kept trying to shove buffalo chicken ranch dip in my face at a party because it was “soooo good.”)

Scrolling through social media on my phone was nauseating too. Ugh, I had not realized just how disgusting everyone’s food photography was until this moment in my pregnancy. I was a guilty foodstagramer, but I promise to never do it again after the way I felt, unless it’s to show how something is actually gross or unusual looking.

Anthony Bourdain recently said of foodie Instagram pics, “Are you sharing, educating or inspiring? No! It’s an aggressive act. ‘Look what I’m eating!'” Seriously, there’s only like 2 people whose food photos I actually enjoy.

Anyhow, my meals in this chapter of my pregnancy, were mostly Cheerios, toast, and white rice. If I ever had a hankering for anything more than that, I made sure I tried to get it right away (really, this just meant sudden trips for fro-yo or McDonald’s). The concern for “eating right” at this point was way overpowered by the need to JUST EAT.

Chapter 3 – Rub that baby bloat

After the first few months, I was feeling bigger, but was aware that I wasn’t necessarily showing as bigger. This is that awkward stage where you’re worried that people are going to think you just don’t take care of yourself. That’s why, whenever I was wearing my tighter shirts, I made an effort to pat and stroke my belly to give people that extra hint that there’s something else going on in this area than just fat.

Let’s face it – when it’s only 7 weeks, it’s just normal bloating:

 

Chapter 4 – Are those MY Boobs?

Ah, this is simultaneously one of weirdest and greatest points of my pregnancy. The books warn of the darker, larger areolas/nipples – yes, these things happened almost immediately. Things are definitely not normal in the chest area anymore.  But especially unusual for my girls was that they started leaking around 18 weeks of pregnancy. Now, this was a little freaky, especially because you read in all the books about it MAYBE happening late in the 3rd trimester, not earlier. If this happens to you, just make sure you tell your practitioner, so they can check things out and make sure there’s nothing more going on. At least they work, right!?

The upside to all the breast changes is that they got HUGE (for me, anyway). I’ve always been a girl teetering (teehee) on the edge of 34 A/34 B. So when I went to Victoria’s Secret after my current bras and swimsuit were getting too snug, and the expert bra lady sized me for a 32 DD it was like all my boob dreams had come true. Now, keep in mind, 32 and 34 DD are very different from a 36 or 38 DD, so I don’t have porn star boobs yet. But still, I never ever thought that my boobs would even see the days of double D.

Chapter 5 – It’s time to play “Gas or Baby Movement!”

Back to the books – they tell you to look for those first little flutters at 18-20 weeks, which means leading up to this time frame, I became obsessively conscious of all those little feelings in the abdominal area. Oh! What was that? That was it, right? I mean, I don’t think I need to fart…do I?

At my 16-week appointment, my doctor demonstrated the slight feeling the baby would be making. It feels exactly like little tummy rumbles from hunger or gas. WTF? So I am probably mistaking those precious little baby wiggles for gas – what terrible maternal instincts I have!

That week, however, every time I was lying or sitting down, I concentrated real hard on my stomach area to decipher my stomach patterns and decided that yes, this flutter was different from that flutter. It’s a baby!!!

Now that I’m around the 23-week mark, the movement is unmistakable. In fact, I can tell that this little dude is happy to attack me with all four limbs at once. It is much like the movie Alien or Prometheus – you can see it and everything. The feeling is one of the coolest creepiest things I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

 

 

I definitely have more to share about navigating this larger belly PLUS our military lifestyle is potentially going to throw an interesting wrench into our birth plan. Just you wait, guys.