The Meaning of Success


When I was younger, I had a very clear picture in my head of what success looked like, and that was to make it on Forbes’ ‘30 Under 30’ list. So now that I’m six months away from exiting my 20’s and Forbes hasn’t quite recognized my accomplishments in life thus far, does that mean I’m a failure?

Luckily, my definition of success has changed over the years. And although I’m always striving to grow myself and my business, what I understand success to be has led me to be okay with where I am today. If you’d asked me a few years ago, I’d say success would be determined by the amount of money I earn. Today, that isn’t the case. Now, success means a feeling of autonomy in my life – a sense of control.

Through my business, I’ve achieved just that. I get to determine how my days are set up, generally what clients I work with (a healthy mix of clients I love and those who help me pay the bills on time), what services I want to focus on and what direction I want to take my business in.

Getting to make all of these decisions on a daily basis, albeit daunting at times, has made me feel successful. If you had told the past, numbers-focused me that success would look like emailing clients between bites of cereal in bed some mornings, she might have looked at you like you’re crazy. But being an entrepreneur is hardly glamorous 24/7, nor does it mean having to work out of your parents’ basement just to make ends meet.

As a professional of moderate success, I can finally look at how entrepreneurs are often portrayed in shows and movies and know what feels real and what’s Hollywood bull. Unfortunately those depictions have led to a lot of stigma around entrepreneurism. When you’re a twenty-something who tells someone you run your own business, people assume you’re either the next Mark Zuckerberg or someone who’s going to be on welfare within the year.

I like to consider myself the in-between entrepreneur. I make a nice living, support myself and have a steady client list. In the words of the wise Tim Gunn, I make it work. And if you’re someone who’s thinking of taking the leap to start your own business, I think that’s the most important thing to hear: there’s something in the middle of the spectrum of success, and that’s a pretty alright place to be.

There have been a lot of shifts in not only the way I think about success, but how I operate within my business that has led me to a greater peace of mind. For one, I’ve learned how to work smarter, not harder. Don’t get me wrong – I work hard – but I’ve learned how not to work myself into the ground. After running my own business for 7 years, I think this may be the biggest change I’ve made in my mentality, and one of the most important.

When I first started out, I thought feeling like my work was done or close to being done was a bad sign. If I was done, that meant I was either forgetting something, was doing something wrong or simply wasn’t getting enough incoming work. Now, I allow myself to feel accomplished. Sure, there are always things that I could be doing. But now that I’m more effective in my work, I get to points where I feel done for the day or week, and I’ve learned to embrace this more. Just because you’re an entrepreneur does not mean you have to be working all the time. In fact, having this realization has helped me feel more successful in my career.

Another thing I’ve learned is that comparing myself to others helps nothing. If you tell yourself that you don’t do that, well, chances are you’re lying to yourself a bit. It’s a very human thing to do, and we’ve only made it easier with social media, where everyone can be a Mark Zuckerberg if they curate their profiles well enough. I can feel really confident and be having a good day, only to ruin it by going down a social media black hole. The shift in mental state can be subtle, but it happens often. Social media isn’t inherently evil, but just be wary of the negative effects it can have on you. Everyone’s success is relative, and it is important to remember that. My definition of success may not match yours, and that’s okay. In fact, that’s all the more reason not to try to compare yourself to others. When you can stop doing this, it will be a lot easier to know what success means to you. And that’s huge.

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