As a mother, a wife, and a businesswoman, Kaia Roman always had a plan. But when her biggest plan, the business she cofounded, collapsed, Kaia found herself crushed by depression. And what felt even worse was that, with a husband and two kids relying on her to get out of bed, she didn’t have a plan to move forward.
Determined to turn her life around and put her ingrained habits of stress and anxiety behind her, Kaia decided to put everything else on hold and dedicate thirty days to the singular pursuit of joy. The results were astonishing—and lasted much longer than the initial month-long project.
In The Joy Plan, Kaia uses her business savvy to create a concrete plan to get back on her feet fast. Using scientific research on hormones, neurotransmitters, and mindfulness, along with the daily dedication to creating a more joyful existence, Kaia teaches readers how to move past temporary happiness and succeed in creating joy that lasts.
Below Kaia answers some questions for us on ways that we can all find joy in our lives:
1. You were inspired to take time to turn your life around and find joy after a failed business venture. What advice would you give other entrepreneurs who have dealt with a similar situation?
For many of us who thrive in the high-intensity of being an entrepreneur, the line we walk between anxiety and creative flourishing is a fine one. When we veer too far to the dark side, our passion for progress morphs into an unhealthy compulsion that simultaneously builds an empire while crushing its creator.
So it is important for us to find balance. While balance looks different for each person, I think what most of us really want when we talk about work life balance has more to do with the activity in our minds than in our actions. We want to be able to take a break from thoughts about work—whether we love our work or not—when we want a break. Mindfulness exercises can help a great deal with this, because ultimately most of our life experience is dictated, filtered, and perceived through the functions of our mind.
2. You gave yourself thirty days to pursue joy. What exactly does that mean?
After a failed business venture, my self-esteem hit an all-time low. As I sunk into depression, my friend Niko inspired me to try an experiment. She suggested that if I focused on making joy my top priority for one month, my entire life would turn around. With no job, no plan, and no other ideas, I decided to give it a try.
For 30 days, I went after joy from all angles—from the scientific to the spiritual, and everything in between. I tried every tool and trick that was recommended in every self-help book I could get my hands on. And it was remarkable to see what worked and what didn’t.
And yes, Niko was right. After 30 days, I had experienced enough changes in my life that I was able to continue my Joy Plan, and to write a book about the extraordinary events that took place in the six months that followed (The Joy Plan, Sourcebooks, available here).
3. How would you advise other entrepreneurs to find their joy?
Often as entrepreneurs, we take care of everything else before we take care of ourselves. We skimp on sleep, which disrupts our melatonin and serotonin balance, and we often skip exercise, spending time outdoors, time with loved ones, and nutritious food—the essentials for a healthy mind, body, and spirit. Add in stress and we’ve got spiking cortisol levels on top of too much adrenaline. We create the perfect chemical storm for depression.
The great news is that when we have enough sleep, we think more clearly and are more productive. When we exercise, endorphins often stimulate creative ideas. And healthy food feeds our brain with the nutrients it needs to thrive. Drinking enough water is also really helpful to our overall mental and physical well-being. Joy isn’t only a mental experience; it’s a physical one. And that’s something that we entrepreneurs must prioritize.
4. How has what you learned in your pursuit of joy changed the way you view entrepreneurship, or has it?
Honestly, I don’t think being an entrepreneur is for everyone. I think it takes a special kind of drive and dedication and maybe just a little bit of crazy. But I think that for those of us who feel that drive, it’s rarely a question as to whether we should follow it or not. We can’t help ourselves. So the key for us is to go for it and stop second-guessing ourselves every step of the way.
When ideas are burning in your head and your heart and bursting to come through, go with it! Doubt is so much more damaging than failure. You might fail, but the passion, purpose, and power you will experience along the way are more than worth it.
5. What does your day-to-day routine look like? How do you take moments every day to find joy?
The Joy Plan has become a way of life for me now, and the discoveries I made during my experiment are now my everyday practices. I start each day with 10-15 minutes of gratitude, in order to get into the right headspace for whatever the day will bring. It is impossible for our brains to be in a state of appreciation and fear simultaneously, so I do my best to appreciate like crazy as often as possible.
I also know now that whatever actions I take will be more effective when I’m feeling positive and optimistic, so on days when I’m feeling low I am less inclined to just “push through” and get things done anyway—I take a break and tend to my own well-being first.
6. If you had to give one big takeaway from your whole process of finding joy, what would it be?
Mostly, the takeaway that will stay with me forever is this: I know I will not be happy all of the time. I may not even be happy most of the time. Life is full of ups and downs for most people and I am no exception. However, I now have the tools to recognize the blessing in the low times, and to get back to my joy more quickly and with more grace. I am poised to handle whatever life brings me because I’ve found an inner light that propels me forward which can never be extinguished. It was really there all along, I just didn’t know how to access it until now.
About the author
Kaia Roman is the author of the new book, The Joy Plan (Sourcebooks, July 2017). She teaches Mindfulness to elementary school students in Santa Cruz, California and is a blogger for minbodygreen and other sites. She writes about how she went from joyless and anxious to grateful and optimistic so she can remember how she did it if she forgets. For everyday joy and mindfulness tips, sign up for Kaia’s newsletter at TheJoyPlan.com. You’ll also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
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