Dear Monday. Fuck You (Yes, Cussing Makes Me Feel Better)

My alarm went off this morning, and series of expletives went through my head. Can’t I just sleep a little bit longer? If I am sleeping, then I am not forced to tackle my never-ending list of to dos. After snoozing about a 100 times, I begrudgingly got my lazy ass out of bed, and decided to conquer this lovely Monday.

Mondays set the tone for the entire week, so I need to have a happy, productive, successful day. I swear the impending doom of a birthday is seriously causing me to question my entire life. I am determined: this week is going to be awesome…starting now!! I don’t want to spend the rest of the week looking/feeling like I have been run over by a bulldozer. Maybe I will even put on make up tomorrow (doubtful).

This is what I am going to do to get over myself:

1) Pretend to be happy. Maybe I can convince myself that I am really happy. It is not that I am so miserably unhappy. I am just uninspired by the monotony of my daily routine. I figure rather than greeting everyone with a sad sob story, I will just smile and fake it till I can make it.

2) Do the harder things tomorrow. This is probably not the best advice, but I am going to live by it. I am going to spend my day doing all the work that I actually want to do, and put the stuff I don’t want to do off until tomorrow. Procrastination is always the best tool.

3) Plan something fun for tonight. Usually Mondays are my day to work late, but I am going to end that tradition. Mondays are going to become the new Thursdays, and it is time to go out. I am going to go for dinner or drinks with a friend to set the tone of the week.

4) Not answer phone calls. I can call people back tomorrow, right?

5) Listen to really good, yet really bad music. I am totally talking about angry chick rock, mixed with the good stuff: Destiny’s Child, TLC, Hilary Duff, Miley…you get the picture.

Basically, is it Friday yet?!

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