So, what do you do?

Someone asked me this question at dinner recently. I was with my husband and his other Marine friends, all of whom had just received their military career assignments. Everyone was talking enthusiastically about their futures and lamenting the fates of the individuals who got some of the not-so-great assignments. I was content listening to everyone explain to me what their Marine jobs would entail (explaining all the jargon and acronyms I’m still not familiar with), when someone finally asked me “So, what do you do?”

I hate this question lately.

I just left my job to move halfway across the country to be reunited with my husband where he was stationed. My happiness is soaring and my anxiety is down. Regardless, my mind scrambled for an eloquent way to communicate that I do have skills and am able to provide the world with some sort of awesomeness, but instead I said, “Nothing.”

When you’re having small talk, that’s not a lot to go on, so I quickly tagged-on, “BUT I used to work in PR.”

I’m a married millennial and this is my life as a military wife. I chose to give the career a back seat while I support my husband and our household. Don’t misunderstand me here — if and when I do decide to get back in the workforce, my husband will support me 100% in my decision. It’s not like I’m confined to the house like Betty Draper. Yes, being a military wife presents a challenge to developing a career when you’re moving around a lot, but I knew I was getting into this lifestyle and it also doesn’t have to define me. I still get to make my own life around our unique situation.

In lieu of a “regular job” (but really, what’s “regular” nowadays), I currently tend to all of the housework, cooking and administrative duties in the Hardee House and I really enjoy it. I’m not being sarcastic. I seriously get to do all of the hobbies and things in my living space that I always wished I could do.

Let me jump back to the question I’ve always wanted to get out of the way and would rather avoid these days: “What do you do?” Really, it’s my own insecurities that make me hate this question so much. Once you say what you do, the asker will have a rough idea of the money you make, the kind of skills you possess, your intelligence level, and the approximate workload it took to get you there. Basically, you’re making a case for your value in this world. This would make my current value = nothing.

But that’s not true. I’m invaluable and you are too. (And no, I’m never going to get sappy on you about all of us being unique snowflakes).

I stay busy creating a home for my husband and future family, where the rooms are clean, homemade meals are cooked, our affairs are in order, dogs are looked after, work-outs are done and I try new things. Right now, that is what “success” means to me.

Each military move we have will be different, sometimes I might find something part-time, sometimes just assuming the full-time role of Hardee House Manager. What I hope to share with you in the “Not Another Suzy Homemaker” section of NeonNotebook as this journey continues are the things that keep me busy along the way. I have fashion projects, recipes, moving tips, decor projects, and general commentary on married life all waiting to be shared with you. It won’t always be perfect, so hopefully you won’t mind me sharing my blunders with you as well.

And before I depart, let me offer an alternative question you can use to get to know your fellow man that opens the door to much more: “What keeps you busy?”