I have always been a worrier; I can’t even remember how many times my dad has repeated this quote to me: “Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.”
I can’t help it! Worrying about things that never actually happen is just part of who I am. In some ways, I think worrying helps me to get things done: I worry about my clients’ deadlines, I worry about not having enough media placements, I worry about growing my business, etc. However, a lot of the time worrying is really just unnecessary, added stress that I place upon myself.
I know you are probably thinking “wtf is this blog?! there are so many random posts about such arbitrary things”. YES! I worry about that too, but then I realized that this blog consists of all the things that inspire/help me. Sometimes that is a great outfit, other times that is career advice from a bad ass chick or a delicious meal at a new restaurant in town.
I know these “dear diary” type posts are probably annoying, and quite selfishly for my own well being. I feel like writing things out, and knowing maybe at least one person will read it, makes me more accountable.
Enough is enough. I have to stop worrying about the SAME things all the time. I decided to make a list as a reminder to myself.
1) Am I doing enough?
This is probably what I spend most of my time contemplating. While I do love doing PR, it really isn’t contributing to the greater good of humanity. I am a young, capable, healthy 20something, and sometimes I feel like I could be putting my energy towards something that actually makes a difference. Yes, in the future, I have ideas to start my own non profit (hopefully, you will hear more throughout the year), but at this exact second, I feel sorta useless.
2) Living up to expectations.
Yes, I accidentally started my own business right out of college, and I am so grateful for that. Sometimes I just stay up at night worrying about what if it all goes away tomorrow; I would look like such a failure. I feel like people look at me, and think that I have the world at my finger tips, and I can just keep growing and achieving new things. I worry about letting them down.
3) Dating.
A big part of me cringes as I write this. I WISH that I didn’t spend so much time thinking about dating (or my lack there of). I also wish that when like 10 different people posted pics of their new engagement rings over the holidays (fucking Facebook), it did make me examine my own life a bit. Yes, sometimes I go on dates, yes, sometimes I make out with guys, and yes, sometimes I even go on OkCupid, but nothing ever seems to stick. It always leaves me wondering: “what is wrong with me?”.
I sometimes (sadly) finding myself obsessing over the fact that there is probably no one that I am compatible with in the world. Okay, maybe a little dramatic, but I am trying to be real.
4) The well being of the people I love the most.
You would think that this is a good thing, but I go overboard. I always have to know the whereabouts of all the people I am closest to. It is something that I inherited from my Grandma, I swear! I find myself always checking in on my friends and family; its probably actually really annoying. If someone doesn’t answer right away, my mind goes straight to worst case scenario. Then, I can’t focus on anything else until I hear from the person.
I don’t like when the people I love are going through things. I overbearingly want to be a fixer, and sometimes I just have to stop, and let the person come to me.
What are the things that you worry about the most?
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